'I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning her': A dad's move sparks son's dilemma about taking their sweet senior cat to a new environment with roommates or leaving her in her home with a new furever family

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 5, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

This son is facing a tough decision about the family cat who's lived with his dad for over 12 years. With his father moving overseas and unable to take her, he's torn between bringing the cat to his small apartment across the country, where she knows him but life is busy, or leaving her with the new family moving into her longtime home.

His place is familiar, but small and shared with a roommate, which might mean less attention. The new family is larger, with kids who seem ready to give her plenty of love and playtime. He worries about how she'll adjust, whether she'll handle leaving the home she's known or thrive in a livelier environment.

It's a tough call, but in the end, sometimes the best home isn't about the size of the space or even who feeds her. It's wherever she feels safe, loved, and cared for. 

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  • 02
    I have a family cat who has lived with my father for the last 12~ years in the same house. He's now moving to a different country, and can't take her with him.
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  • 04
    Originally I planned to take her with me; I'm living across the country in a small 2 bed 1 bath with a roommate. However, the new home owners offered to keep her. They're a large family with some kids in highschool still, and they seem like a good family.
    via Impressive-Tap-5847
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    Cheezburger Image 10525564928
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  • 06
    I'm now torn between whether I should take her with me, someone she's relatively familiar with, to go live across the country in a small apartment while I'm busy with my job, or if she should stay here in the same house with a larger family around.
    via Impressive-Tap-5847
  • 07
    She's always been a super social cat, and gets along great with strangers, but I don't know how she would react to not living with us anymore. I'm not as close with her as my dad was, but she's still at least familiar with me. On the other hand, with more people, and younger kids around, she may get more attention than she would with just me and my roommate.
    via Impressive-Tap-5847
  • 08
    Obviously there's other factors like the extra effort and cost for me in owning a cat, but right now my number one concern is what's best for her. I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning her by leaving her with a new family, but I don't want to feel like I'm neglecting her by forcing her to move in her old age away from a large family who might have more time to pay attention to her. What would you do in this situation?
    via Impressive-Tap-5847
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    going to give her away. I genuinely felt that the cat was so grateful to be with someone she knew. She was about 8 or 9 at the time. I get really attached to animals though!
    via Impressive-Tap-5847
  • 10
    Laney20 Moving is a bad day. Maybe a bad week. Losing her people is forever. Take your cat.
    via Laney20

  • The adjustment period might be tough, but what’s even harder is a sweet senior cat feeling like her family disappeared. Familiar faces bring comfort and that matters more than a perfect setup.

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    Clary Venture I'd say changing owners is worse. Plenty of people move homes and take their animals with them and they adapt fine. I have two cats. and I already know we're going to have to move in about a year. They will get used to the new
    via ClaryVenture
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    environment and it will be easier for them because you are familiar to them. A whole new family in their familiar surroundings will be confusing, and getting used to new people takes longer than getting used to a new environment
    via ClaryVenture

  • The move might be a bit rough at first, but cats are resilient. Being with a familiar face she already knows and trusts will mean the world to her.

  • 13
    blushncandy Take her with you. I moved my 16 yo soul cat with me to take care of her during her last months, she was confused at first but she was really happy to see me and be around me. Besides, only you know how good you can take care of her. You can never really trust strangers.
    via blushncandy
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    MsMarionNYC Honestly, if you were living with her, I'd say keep her. If you want to keep her and can keep her, keep her. But if your life isn't completely stable now, it might not be a committment you can make. If you absolutely trust these people then it won't be a terrible transition for her. She's home and that means a lot to a cat. It's really your
    via MsMarionNYC
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    dad she'd miss and the home being exactly the way it is. I would want to know a lot more about these people. Have they had cats before? Allergies? If they really check out and this is going to be their "forever" home, then I'd seriously consider it.
    via MsMarionNYC
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    What does your dad want to do? Also 12 isn't that old for a cat. Figure she could live another 3-8 years.
    via MsMarionNYC
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    kittencrazedrigatoni My cats have moved cross country with me 3 times, and countless times in each city from place to place. They are happy as long as we're together, end of story. In fact they love exploring new places. Take your baby!
    via kittencrazedrigatoni
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    nothanksthanky... Take the cat with you! If she goes with a different family she'll have to not only adjust to new people but also all new furnishings and surroundings so it might as well be considered a new house. How well would you do in that position? Exactly. + if your dad visits she'll be thrilled to see him!
    via nothanksthankyoutho
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    Nyararagi-san I would absolutely take her with! Many cats do very well with moves.
    via Nyararagi-san

  • She might surprise you. Cats are often more adaptable than we give them credit for. With a familiar face by her side, she could settle in quicker and happier than expected!

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    snoopygoopyskele... If I were you, I would take her with me, but that's just my personal opinion. I was in a very similar situation to you a few years ago and opted to take my step mum's cat after they were
    via snoopygoopyskeleton
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    turnipbones I moved across country with my cat. She will adapt to new homes, not so much new people.
    via turnipbones

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advice feline moving Cats pets senior adopted cat owners pawrents
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